5 days until I am done hating life at 4 hour 10 minute intervals.
5 days until I can casually snack on a chocolate bar, cookie or skittle.
5 days until I can exercise without worrying about the repercussions of sweating too much and leaking everywhere.
5 days until I never have to utter the words 'pump and dump' after drinking a glass or two of wine.
5 days until I can happily drink wine with my sausage, green pepper and onion pizza.
5 days until I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night with big sore boobies that are hard as rocks and ready to burst.
5 days until I don't have to lug the stupid machine back forth with me where ever I go.
5 days until I don't have to lift my shirt up in the bathroom at work and get super fucking cold.
5 days until I can eat the spiciest of spicy foods (look out BDubs).
5 days....oh the glory of it all.
Wishing I had a time machine,
JSC
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
I hope this comes out the right way
I've been thinking a lot lately about where I'm suppose to be.
Am I suppose to be a Mom?
Am I suppose to live in this house?
Am I suppose to have this job?
This has all come full circle in the past few weeks where I've come to realize that yes, this is exactly where I'm suppose to be. That every single solitary decision I have made has led me to this place right here.
But then this led me to question why? Why am I in this place right here right now? Is it for a bigger reason that I don't know about?
Like what if I decided to not go online that one night while babysitting sisters kids and poke around on that Internet dating website and had that one fleeting little 'why not' moment and sign up? If I hadn't, I never would have met Husband. Would I have met him in some other capacity? But if I didn't, I wouldn't have perfect daughter right now. Isn't that weird? That one little tiny decision led me to her.
And that could be the answer of why. Why am I here? Because if I wasn't here, then I wouldn't have her. And maybe she is going to bring me someone else in the far off future that will impact my life in some grand way. I guess it's a little bit of a snowball effect.
So, it is a little early for New Years resolutions, but I think I know mine already (and this could just be life teaching me an odd lesson of revelations after 33 years): I am going to be confident in every decision I make. I am not going to question it because it will lead me to things that are suppose to happen.
Yes, that's what I'm going to do.
Clearly,
JSC
Am I suppose to be a Mom?
Am I suppose to live in this house?
Am I suppose to have this job?
This has all come full circle in the past few weeks where I've come to realize that yes, this is exactly where I'm suppose to be. That every single solitary decision I have made has led me to this place right here.
But then this led me to question why? Why am I in this place right here right now? Is it for a bigger reason that I don't know about?
Like what if I decided to not go online that one night while babysitting sisters kids and poke around on that Internet dating website and had that one fleeting little 'why not' moment and sign up? If I hadn't, I never would have met Husband. Would I have met him in some other capacity? But if I didn't, I wouldn't have perfect daughter right now. Isn't that weird? That one little tiny decision led me to her.
And that could be the answer of why. Why am I here? Because if I wasn't here, then I wouldn't have her. And maybe she is going to bring me someone else in the far off future that will impact my life in some grand way. I guess it's a little bit of a snowball effect.
So, it is a little early for New Years resolutions, but I think I know mine already (and this could just be life teaching me an odd lesson of revelations after 33 years): I am going to be confident in every decision I make. I am not going to question it because it will lead me to things that are suppose to happen.
Yes, that's what I'm going to do.
Clearly,
JSC
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Tragic Morning (aka the morning where everything went wrong and then some)
4:40am: Perfect daughter starts squawking. Lay in bed and wait for it to stop. It doesn't.
4:45am: Decide that perfect daughters bedroom floor is the best place to lay down and wait for perfect daughter to launch pacifier out of mouth and start crying like I've never fed her before.
5:00am: The crying begins.
5:10am: Feed daughter. Notice that there is a small black thing in her bottle. Worry excessively that it is a fruit fly. Pretend it's not there knowing that in a couple of years she will be eating dirt and maybe a worm or two.
5:30am: Feeding ends, diaper changed and now I must pump. Plop daughter in car seat because I need an audience.
5:31am: Hook myself up to the stupid machine and turn it on. It doesn't turn on. What the fuck stupid machine? Why aren't you working? Turn off and on about 50 times.
5:35am: Realize I don't have it plugged in. Hate the machine even more.
5:45am: Done pumping. What's that smell? Ah gawd perfect daughter pooped.
5:47am: The poop manages to smear up daughters back, down one leg and foot.
5:50am: Clean up daughter with baby wipes and change outfit.
6:00am: Shower time for me. Put squeaky clean daughter back in car seat and bring her in the bathroom with me.
6:01am: I step into shower and she starts crying. Naturally.
6:02am: For lord knows what I reason I step out of the shower and try to search for daughters pacifier while dripping all over the place. Find pacifier behind her ear after searching under each arm and butt area.
6:10am: Perfect daughter actually falls asleep while I'm blow drying my hair. Nice!
6:20am: Start the car because it's 5 below outside. Declare hatred for Minnesota winters once again.
6:30am: Buckle blissfully sleeping daughter in car seat. Wait a minute, why is she all wet? FUCK. I got her all wet trying to find her pacifier in the shower.
6:31am: Change outfit again and now perfect daughter is screaming at me because she was sleeping and now she's not.
6:35am: In the car finally!
6:45am: Arrive at daycare. Start to panic because I can't find pacifier.
6:50am: (yes a full five minutes later) Realize pacifier is in my hand.
6:51am: As I scurry up to the door I step in dog poop. I'm not kidding.
7:00am: Leave daycare hoping and praying that I make it to work without running over Bambi.
Like I have said dozens of times before, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
JSC
4:45am: Decide that perfect daughters bedroom floor is the best place to lay down and wait for perfect daughter to launch pacifier out of mouth and start crying like I've never fed her before.
5:00am: The crying begins.
5:10am: Feed daughter. Notice that there is a small black thing in her bottle. Worry excessively that it is a fruit fly. Pretend it's not there knowing that in a couple of years she will be eating dirt and maybe a worm or two.
5:30am: Feeding ends, diaper changed and now I must pump. Plop daughter in car seat because I need an audience.
5:31am: Hook myself up to the stupid machine and turn it on. It doesn't turn on. What the fuck stupid machine? Why aren't you working? Turn off and on about 50 times.
5:35am: Realize I don't have it plugged in. Hate the machine even more.
5:45am: Done pumping. What's that smell? Ah gawd perfect daughter pooped.
5:47am: The poop manages to smear up daughters back, down one leg and foot.
5:50am: Clean up daughter with baby wipes and change outfit.
6:00am: Shower time for me. Put squeaky clean daughter back in car seat and bring her in the bathroom with me.
6:01am: I step into shower and she starts crying. Naturally.
6:02am: For lord knows what I reason I step out of the shower and try to search for daughters pacifier while dripping all over the place. Find pacifier behind her ear after searching under each arm and butt area.
6:10am: Perfect daughter actually falls asleep while I'm blow drying my hair. Nice!
6:20am: Start the car because it's 5 below outside. Declare hatred for Minnesota winters once again.
6:30am: Buckle blissfully sleeping daughter in car seat. Wait a minute, why is she all wet? FUCK. I got her all wet trying to find her pacifier in the shower.
6:31am: Change outfit again and now perfect daughter is screaming at me because she was sleeping and now she's not.
6:35am: In the car finally!
6:45am: Arrive at daycare. Start to panic because I can't find pacifier.
6:50am: (yes a full five minutes later) Realize pacifier is in my hand.
6:51am: As I scurry up to the door I step in dog poop. I'm not kidding.
7:00am: Leave daycare hoping and praying that I make it to work without running over Bambi.
Like I have said dozens of times before, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
JSC
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
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