Your dumb

Dear person in the red Explorer with a yellow shirt on driving down 169 this morning riding my ass like I was driving any faster or slower than the person in front of me would allow and who continued to try and kiss my bumper all the way to my businsess park and gave me the finger as I pulled into my parking lot,
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFF
ASSHOLE
I hate you and hope you get a flat tire or chipped windshield,
JSC

Does anyone know where I can get one of those yellow diamond shaped things that suction to your window that says Pregnant Lady on Board BACK THE FUCK OFF?
If so, let me know right away or kindly buy me one and I'll pay you back with Thank You's.

New Symptom: Road Rage

Hi Friends
As I awaken from 1st trimester coma, I have a new found appreciation for making it thru the day without a)throwing up on my dentist b)crying c)feeling nauseous and d)hating life.

There is one exception and an extension that goes with d though. I don't literally HATE life please know that, I actually value it very highly. It may be my over-zealous hormones with maybe just a little displaced anger sprinkled in for fun but lately I have been out of control behind the wheel. Back in my 20s (eeesh did I just write that?) I knew I was a bad driver. I would speed, swerve in traffic, slam on my brakes and honk my horn a lot. I didn't care and thought it was funny that people thought I was a bad driver. Years go on, a car accident and one Super Kid later and I've calmed down quite a bit. I don't drive slow, I just drive very cautiously. Mabye a little too cautiously according to some people but I prefer to be on the safe side. Sue me. One big thing that changed my habits for the greater good is being a passenger in the car with Husband. Oh how I love him dearly but put me in the car with him and I turn into a nervous wreck. I'll spare you the details but I will say that I shut my eyes a lot and tell him to STOP at the top of my lungs at least 5 times no matter where we go. Anyway...
Forward on to the past week or so and I have turned into a bitch on wheels. People who ride my bumper have always peeved me off. I now seek revenge. I did it yesterday and today.

Yesterday some lady decided going 60mph in a 50mph zone wasn't fast enough but I didn't move over into the next lane because I had to turn into J's daycare. Sure as shit she continued to ride my ass the whole mile up to the turn lane. Well well well lookey lou who is turning into daycare right behind me but this lady. I was so angered by her that instead of holding the door open for her as I walked into the building (because of course she was walking really close behind me as well) I let the door slam on her face. You have to punch in a little code to get into the daycare so I thought that added a little salt to the wound. You also have to punch in a code when you pick your child up and I decided that taking my time to do this added the little extra punch. Why is she in such a hurry anyway. Calm down. Or maybe I should but who cares. I'm pregnant. Leave me alone.
This mornings incident was similar. Some lady was riding my ass but I didn't move because I was turning. First chance she got she sped around me and in turn, I rode her ass all the way to work. It was just a big fat coincidence that she works in the same business park as me. Ha Ha Beeee-otch!
I know this is unhealthy behavior. I know it's unsafe. Save me the lecture, k? I get a small satisfaction in knowing that I am contributing to the golden rule: Don't mess with pregnant woman on the highway or you will pay!!!! ahahahhahahahhaaa
Just kidding.
And I know that's not the golden rule.

wtf, why not...

*WARNING*

This post is going to be filled with my ramblings about things that are completely irrelevant, but are bothering me, mostly because I am moody and probably just need to take a Midol. But seriously, what fun is that? It only makes me go back to 'normal'. Who wants to be normal? It's more fun and colorful to have an opinion and make other people listen to it. I'm also not going to go easy on the swears so Mom cover your ears.

I work at the front desk of a very small company. And when I say small, I mean small, as in less than 15. We don't do any hard core selling here and everything we have here, is fine. All the vendors we have are great, they do what they are suppose to and we don't need to upgrade. Anything. Which leads me to believe that the 'NO SOLICITATION' sign on the door is there for a good reason. We don't want any. We don't care what you have or why you have it or who it's benefiting. And these are not my words. My bosses told me this when I was hired. 'We don't want anything so just shoo them away' they said. Them meaning innocent (I'm just being nice because sometimes I feel sorry for them, most of the time they are ass clowns) sales people who were 'just in the neighborhood' or 'just finishing up a meeting with our office neighbors'. It's such an uncomfortable thing for me to try to explain that we just don't want anything. I've tried many approaches, but nothing seems to work. To be honest, I feel like yelling 'Hey dumbass didn't you see the sign? It says no soliciting, meaning we don't want any and we don't want you to try to convince us that we do, so just turn around and go somewhere else you illiterate assholes'. A lot of them even look at the obnoxious sign and just keep walking right in. I guess the stem of my rant is that we usually don't get that many on any given week so it's not that bad, but yesterday, I don't know what the fuck was in the air, but we had SEVEN. Seven different people coming in from seven different companies trying to convince me that we needed Internet upgrades, post it notes, temporary staff, stickers, new office equipment, paper and metal shelving. Oh wait, correction, we had EIGHT. I forgot about the last guy who came in at 4:25. I don't even know what company he was from or what he was trying to get us to 'think about', but he was the boldest of them all. He actually asked to speak to the president. hahahhahahahah douche bag. Too bad our president conveniently closes his office door when he sees anyone come up to the door that he doesn't know so to avoid people like him. So I tell this guy that if he doesn't have an appointment he won't be able to speak to him. So he then starts asking me a bunch of questions about shipping. How much do we ship? Nothing. Who do you use when you do? FedEx. Why don't you use UPS? We just don't. On average, how much do our packages weigh? Less than 5 pounds. How many packages do you ship in a week? Next to none. So he's jotting all my answers down and then declares that 'our needs won't fit in with his company'. REALLY! The nerve. He's was the worst. It's been the same thing at home lately so it probably just makes it more unnerving. The last one at home was some guy and his awkward teenage daughter telling me about how the political aspect of global warming is out of control and it's somehow tied in with his church. Mind you that it is 930am on Saturday and I have my hair wrapped up in a towel and I'm all hot and sticky from just getting out of the too hot shower. The guys hands me some pamphlet, I shut the door and husband says (with all the sarcasm you can imagine) 'Better start reading those.' Ha Ha husband, very funny.

I was curious what the dictionaries definition of solicitation was, and you know what it said?

This: the act of enticing a person to do something wrong.

Interesting, isn't it?

So my next rant will be a little shorter but none the less more important than the first.

Why is it that just because I sit at the front desk, people think it's their business to see what I'm looking at, reading, doing, creating on my computer? Seriously, you have no idea how many times I've been just poking around on the net and someone will come up behind me and say 'what 'cha lookin' at?' Now I'm never looking at anything sinful, this is work after all, but come on. I feel like going into their offices and going around their desks just to see what their looking at. And they all have their computers conveniently facing them, so the back of the computer is facing the door. Jerks.

So these are my irritants of the week, described in full detail for your reading pleasures.

I'm out for the rest of the week, so be safe, be happy (you should be even though I probably won't but it sounds good), and thanks for listening.

Sometimes I feel like nobody does, hence the blog.