I have to get this off my chest

If one knows me well enough, they know my absolute hatred for traffic. Who really likes traffic I'm not sure but I have heard people try to calm my gripes by offering to take the chance for a little music and me time while battling the stop and go insanism but it just doesn't work. EVER. I am obsessed with finding out why people are slamming on their brakes. I can't help it.
Unfortunately, every single day, I have to fight one of Minnesota's grossest highways: 169. There is no way around it. I have to take it. Unless I invest in one of those car/boat/land truck things, I'm screwed. You see friends I have to cross a very large river, and the one bridge that goes across it is the gateway to work. Not just for me, but for zillions (yes zillions) of other commuters we all have to use this bridge to cross the river to get to our destinations.
I can see this post spiraling way out of control so before I let myself get to heavily invested in my annoyance with said Highway, I am going to get to the point.
The following is a list of reasons why (I think) traffic gets so horribly screwed up. I'd say 98% of them do not make any sense, but rest assured, they are all true (the way I see it anyway).
Eh hmmm....here we go!

• Rain
• It looks like it MIGHT rain
• Snow
• It looks like it MIGHT snow
• Accident
• Accident from previous day
• Fog
• Fog in distance
• Sunshine
• Fed Ex truck on fire
• Leaves blowing
• Wind
• Utility truck with orange blinky light on side of road
• Person checking man hole in median with orange vest on
• Dead deer
• Dead deer from yesterday
• Dead deer from 2 days ago
• Dead deer from 3 days ago
• Merging idiots (just let people in for crying out loud. I don't care how long you've been sitting there. They might be lost. Sheeesh)
• Broken traffic light
• Car on side of road
• Cop pulled someone over (nice timing)
• Cop on side of road just sitting there
• An enormous bag of leaves in the lane (OK, this is possibly the only acceptable reason due to the fact that from a distance it looked like a very large animal)
• I don't know, there doesn't seem to be a logical reason

Keep in mind that I am not an angry person sitting in traffic, I just want to know why. And knowing is half the battle, no?
Toodles.

You really want me to think that much about you?

Hi Readers,
Now, I rarely go into stores. Really, my interaction with retail personal is minimal. I go into name brand stores, like, NEVER. I go grocery shopping every Sunday 'cause I have to, but intensively and stalkingly, I go to the 'older' looking Mom like cashiers every time because they have never failed to bother me less than the teeny bopper 'can I offer you an additional 10% off your T**get purchase' scpell that I know they are being forced to say by their head phone wearing managers. When I go clothes shopping, it's almost always on-line, because I'm so famous, I don't want to be plagued by fans. Everything else is fair game.
Note today's trip to the liquor store. I went to the local store to get my customary bottle and proceed to the checkout. The lady in front of me LITERALLY has every content of her purse littered out on the counter top, why I'm not sure, but she does. So the cashier lady rings her up, and by this time I know her drivers licence number, her address, what lipstick shade she wears, her stinky choice in purfume and the fact that she is the only person left on the face of this planet that writes a check. She sees me and moves her PILE over to make room for my wine. The cashier (who knows me and rolls her eyes) tries to ring me up but cannot because Sharie Mc Sharey-ton is busy putting her life back together in front of us. Ten minutes later, I'm out the door and new with the knowledge of some weird-o's info.
Hrmpf! Get a grip ladies! Not everyone wants to see your insides!
On an unrelated note, this is the song I'm listening to right now.