Another confusing exchange

Last night at the dinner table, the following conversation took place between J and I (remember, J is 9 years old)

J: Mom, have you ever used acid?
Me: Oh my gawd, WHAT?
J: You know, acid? Like, when you were in college or before you had me?
Me: What are you talking about? Where did you hear about this?
J: My teacher. She told me she did when she was in college.
Me and Husband simultaneously: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
J: Acid. Like in your Chemistry class or somethin'? We learned all about it in Science today. Did you know that there is acid in vinegar?
Me (thankful that my sweet little boy and his teacher aren't talking about hallucinogenic drug use): No buddy, I didn't know there was acid in vinegar. Go on...

Baffling, isn't it?
JSC

Weird dreams

I have weird and terrifying dreams A LOT.

Pregnancy hormones only send them into orbit making them unrealistic sounding and far fetched.
Ask Husband or French Kitty the next time you see them and they will tell you that once a week (probably more because I barely remember the times I do wake up) I have a horrific terrifying dream and I wake up screaming or thinking the blankie's are trying to strangle me.
Here are a couple of gems that I can remember freaking my shit out (and no they will not sound scary but in all reality they were):

Dream #1: I was lost in Uptown with Husband. We were going in and out of stores trying to find a record. Why? I don't know. It was raining and the streets were very crowded. We were walking along and ended up in a park. We start running because a YELLOW CLOWN was chasing us. We found a cave and hid in it. We could see him but he couldn't see us and was leering in the cave, laughing.
I woke up from this dream at 3am and didn't fall back to sleep.

Dream #2: I was riding a 10 speed bike on a 4 lane highway but with no cars. I was cold. I was trying to cross the highway and out of no where a little lamb appears. I remember thinking in the dream What the hell is a lamb doing on a highway? Then the lamb attacked me.
I woke up from this dream at 4am and like Dream #1, didn't fall back to sleep. Because of a LAMB.

Told ya. Good thing I'm pregnant because otherwise these dreams certify me as crazy.

Happy Trails,
JSC

What did you say?

The following are things that have either been said to me or overheard by me at work. With no exaggeration what so ever.

Enjoy.

• I gave you a purple sucker yesterday.
• What can I say...I'm an anal guy.
• It's your turn for me to do you.
• It is brown and moist. With white chunks in it.
• I must have been playing with my unit.
• I need something to suck on.
• If the hole isn't big enough you just have to force it in.
• Boss: Your sister kept accusing me of starring at her boobs at your wedding.
• Me: That's because you were.
• Boss: Oh.

Bear in mind that I'm taking these things completely out of context on some of them, but it's still amazing.

Have a good weekend friends.

That's just rude

So yesterday I went to a really big chain pet store. I can't remember the last time I was in one,

I'm almost positive it was in OR visiting Sister when super smart nephew wanted to buy something for his rabbit. Or maybe it was his hamster. I don't know, anyway, it was probably about 3 years ago that I entered one. We usually get french kitties food at the Target because it's just more convenient, so again, no reason to go there.

Moving along, yesterday I went there because a co-worker, who has a fish tank in his office, went on vacation this week and forgot to buy more food for his fish. He called and asked if I could go get some and feed them this week. No problem I say. I needed to go out on my lunch break anyway to do some other errands.

I go there, find the food and discover that there is one register open with about 6 people waiting in line. The cashier lady kept calling for back up but she was really hard to understand so I'm guessing that's why nobody rushed to her aid. I'm the last one in line and think oh well, I guess I'll just space out. I'm really good at that. The line is not moving because customer number one had like a zillion questions about her dog food that the cashier was indeed answering, just not very clearly so there was a lot of 'what was that?' 'huh?' and 'can you say that again'. I was STILL IN LINE mind you but looking at a display about 10 feet to my right about dog training classes when the line moved, just a little. And then it happened. I was butted. Some lady, who I am sure seen me, just slid right in line in front of me. It was really strange. I just looked at the back of her head, sortof in disbelief, because how often do you get butted in front of? Isn't it the cardinal rule starting in like 2nd grade to never butt in front of someone?

So I'm standing there, wondering if I should say something, but can't really think of anything to say without sounding like a...well...2nd grader. So I say nothing and just remember that karma is a bitch. And then you know what happened? The back up cashier shows up, taps the butter lady on the shoulder and says 'Ma'am, I can help you over here.' WHAT???? I am the last one in line, wasn't she supposed to tap me on the shoulder?

On a brighter note, mama loves you.