Thursday, March 26, 2009

New Symptom: Road Rage

Hi Friends
As I awaken from 1st trimester coma, I have a new found appreciation for making it thru the day without a)throwing up on my dentist b)crying c)feeling nauseous and d)hating life.

There is one exception and an extension that goes with d though. I don't literally HATE life please know that, I actually value it very highly. It may be my over-zealous hormones with maybe just a little displaced anger sprinkled in for fun but lately I have been out of control behind the wheel. Back in my 20s (eeesh did I just write that?) I knew I was a bad driver. I would speed, swerve in traffic, slam on my brakes and honk my horn a lot. I didn't care and thought it was funny that people thought I was a bad driver. Years go on, a car accident and one Super Kid later and I've calmed down quite a bit. I don't drive slow, I just drive very cautiously. Mabye a little too cautiously according to some people but I prefer to be on the safe side. Sue me. One big thing that changed my habits for the greater good is being a passenger in the car with Husband. Oh how I love him dearly but put me in the car with him and I turn into a nervous wreck. I'll spare you the details but I will say that I shut my eyes a lot and tell him to STOP at the top of my lungs at least 5 times no matter where we go. Anyway...
Forward on to the past week or so and I have turned into a bitch on wheels. People who ride my bumper have always peeved me off. I now seek revenge. I did it yesterday and today.

Yesterday some lady decided going 60mph in a 50mph zone wasn't fast enough but I didn't move over into the next lane because I had to turn into J's daycare. Sure as shit she continued to ride my ass the whole mile up to the turn lane. Well well well lookey lou who is turning into daycare right behind me but this lady. I was so angered by her that instead of holding the door open for her as I walked into the building (because of course she was walking really close behind me as well) I let the door slam on her face. You have to punch in a little code to get into the daycare so I thought that added a little salt to the wound. You also have to punch in a code when you pick your child up and I decided that taking my time to do this added the little extra punch. Why is she in such a hurry anyway. Calm down. Or maybe I should but who cares. I'm pregnant. Leave me alone.
This mornings incident was similar. Some lady was riding my ass but I didn't move because I was turning. First chance she got she sped around me and in turn, I rode her ass all the way to work. It was just a big fat coincidence that she works in the same business park as me. Ha Ha Beeee-otch!
I know this is unhealthy behavior. I know it's unsafe. Save me the lecture, k? I get a small satisfaction in knowing that I am contributing to the golden rule: Don't mess with pregnant woman on the highway or you will pay!!!! ahahahhahahahhaaa
Just kidding.
And I know that's not the golden rule.

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