Saturday, October 31, 2009

Thursday, October 22, 2009

My days

Here is a little preview of how my days have been since the arrival of Ms Chloe:

2am: My 'shift' with Chloe starts
2:01am: Chloe starts crying so I feed her, burp her, change her diaper (usually twice because you can't poo in an already dirty diaper-you have to wait until the clean one is on)
2:40am: Chloe smiles in her full tummy haze and I don't care about the diaper episodes
2:50am: Chloe falls asleep
3:00am: Shit, time to pump
3:15am: Done pumping
3:15-4:30am: I try to doze off on the couch. Most of the time this doesn't happen because Chloe plays a game where she wants her pacifier but it falls out because she wants to cram her hand in her mouth instead and this wakes her, causes mass hysteria. We play this game until her next feeding
4:30am: Feed Chloe (see 2:01am routine)
5:00am: Fuck, time to pump again
5:20am: Decide it doesn't really make sense to try to go to sleep, so I just stay awake and watch Good Morning America or the Today Show
7:00am: Feed Chloe
7:50am: J comes upstairs, time to feed him breakfast. Whew, easy stuff. Cereal or oatmeal. Hope that he is not crabby. Oops, that was dumb. He's always crabby in the am.
8:00am: Try to shove J out the door in 10 minutes but he's complaining about something. Give him granola bar. Ahhhhh....he's all better.
8:10am-3:00pm: Try to do stuff inbetween pumping, feeding Chloe, checking e-mail (and FB Hello?!?! I do have priorities!), remembering what day it is, taking a walk, returning phone calls (doesn't ever happen), sort the giant pile of mail on my desk and breathe.
3:01pm: Shit, did I pump? Eat lunch? Get the mail?
3-6pm: Feed Chloe, eat dinner. Oh crap, I didn't take a shower. Oh well.
6-7pm: I don't know.
7pm: My shift ends. Night night. Well, this is suppose to be my bed time, but I have to pump again. Blasted!
8pm: k, now it's bed time. Oh look, The Real Housewives of Atlanta is on. Must watch.
9pm: Seriously, I'm going to bed now. See you at 2am.

I should be more tired but I'm just not, or maybe I am,
JSC

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

This just in

I received a bill for my daughter's stay at the spa hospital.
$18,254.46.
Donations gladly accepted.

Gasp,
JSC

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Spa Hospital

I've thought about this post for a couple of days now and I think I've come up with a good way to fill you in on the details of my labor experience without going into too much detail.
Really, there aren't too many gruesome details to explore in the first place. I mean, there was blood, and a lot of it, but there wasn't any screaming or punching or fighting with nurses or doctors. Basically, it was just time. And lots of it. Lots and lots and lots and lots of waiting around for my body to kick it into high gear. I'd say the first 15 out of 21 hours (yes I said 21) I was at the hospital, was just a big waiting game.
Call me crazy, but my experience all and all was kinda like going to the spa. The nurses were always asking if I needed anything (can you say endless supply of peanut butter toast? omg), I got fed breakfast lunch and dinner with food that really wasn't too bad. It was all proportioned correctly and some of the meals came with dessert. Husband even 'snuck' me in a big fat piece of chocolate cake to which the kind nurses said 'oh go ahead, YOU DESERVE IT'. Sha, ya think?
During the hardest part of my labor I got to take a warm bath (twice!) with ultra cool bubbles and jets and mood lighting. When things stalled out a bit and being as I was exhausted, they gave me a shot of morphine and I got to take a nap. Really, what can I complain about? Even after I got the epidural and it didn't fully take effect, I got to have it AGAIN. I mean, where else can you go to get food, be waited on, get drugs and then get more drugs when they don't fully numb you? This shit should be illegal!
Things got real scary for us at the very end with some umbilical cord issues, but she came out perfect and screaming and healthy.
Looking back, the very worst parts about my time in the hospital were these 3 things: them taking that awful full back sticker off (remember I had the epi twice so the 1st time it tore the hair off, the 2nd time felt like they tore the skin off), getting into our recovery room at 2am only to be woken up at 430am to pee (OUCH) and then walk around the halls in a complete epi haze, and the absolute worst thing about my labor experience was that one nurse who was checking my cervix in the very beginning who had hands the size of a 5 year old and I swear to you her entire ARM was up my crotch and the pain, oh the pain I felt while she tried to find my cervix, was worse than anything I went thru after that.

Toodles,
JSC

Saturday, October 10, 2009

100th post


Introducing:
Chloe Elizabeth (aka Ninja aka Daughter Extraordinaire).
Labor details to follow, because who doesn't want to know about that?

Mom of the Year for what I went thru but I'm not really complaining because just look at what I have now,
JSC