Spa Hospital

I've thought about this post for a couple of days now and I think I've come up with a good way to fill you in on the details of my labor experience without going into too much detail.
Really, there aren't too many gruesome details to explore in the first place. I mean, there was blood, and a lot of it, but there wasn't any screaming or punching or fighting with nurses or doctors. Basically, it was just time. And lots of it. Lots and lots and lots and lots of waiting around for my body to kick it into high gear. I'd say the first 15 out of 21 hours (yes I said 21) I was at the hospital, was just a big waiting game.
Call me crazy, but my experience all and all was kinda like going to the spa. The nurses were always asking if I needed anything (can you say endless supply of peanut butter toast? omg), I got fed breakfast lunch and dinner with food that really wasn't too bad. It was all proportioned correctly and some of the meals came with dessert. Husband even 'snuck' me in a big fat piece of chocolate cake to which the kind nurses said 'oh go ahead, YOU DESERVE IT'. Sha, ya think?
During the hardest part of my labor I got to take a warm bath (twice!) with ultra cool bubbles and jets and mood lighting. When things stalled out a bit and being as I was exhausted, they gave me a shot of morphine and I got to take a nap. Really, what can I complain about? Even after I got the epidural and it didn't fully take effect, I got to have it AGAIN. I mean, where else can you go to get food, be waited on, get drugs and then get more drugs when they don't fully numb you? This shit should be illegal!
Things got real scary for us at the very end with some umbilical cord issues, but she came out perfect and screaming and healthy.
Looking back, the very worst parts about my time in the hospital were these 3 things: them taking that awful full back sticker off (remember I had the epi twice so the 1st time it tore the hair off, the 2nd time felt like they tore the skin off), getting into our recovery room at 2am only to be woken up at 430am to pee (OUCH) and then walk around the halls in a complete epi haze, and the absolute worst thing about my labor experience was that one nurse who was checking my cervix in the very beginning who had hands the size of a 5 year old and I swear to you her entire ARM was up my crotch and the pain, oh the pain I felt while she tried to find my cervix, was worse than anything I went thru after that.

Toodles,
JSC