Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I have to get this off my chest

If one knows me well enough, they know my absolute hatred for traffic. Who really likes traffic I'm not sure but I have heard people try to calm my gripes by offering to take the chance for a little music and me time while battling the stop and go insanism but it just doesn't work. EVER. I am obsessed with finding out why people are slamming on their brakes. I can't help it.
Unfortunately, every single day, I have to fight one of Minnesota's grossest highways: 169. There is no way around it. I have to take it. Unless I invest in one of those car/boat/land truck things, I'm screwed. You see friends I have to cross a very large river, and the one bridge that goes across it is the gateway to work. Not just for me, but for zillions (yes zillions) of other commuters we all have to use this bridge to cross the river to get to our destinations.
I can see this post spiraling way out of control so before I let myself get to heavily invested in my annoyance with said Highway, I am going to get to the point.
The following is a list of reasons why (I think) traffic gets so horribly screwed up. I'd say 98% of them do not make any sense, but rest assured, they are all true (the way I see it anyway).
Eh hmmm....here we go!

  • Rain
  • It looks like it MIGHT rain
  • Snow
  • It looks like it MIGHT snow
  • Accident
  • Accident from previous day
  • Fog
  • Fog in distance
  • Sunshine
  • Fed Ex truck on fire
  • Leaves blowing
  • Wind
  • Utility truck with orange blinky light on side of road
  • Person checking man hole in median with orange vest on
  • Dead deer
  • Dead deer from yesterday
  • Dead deer from 2 days ago
  • Dead deer from 3 days ago
  • Merging idiots (just let people in for crying out loud. I don't care how long you've been sitting there. They might be lost. Sheeesh)
  • Broken traffic light
  • Car on side of road
  • Cop pulled someone over (nice timing)
  • Cop on side of road just sitting there
  • An enormous bag of leaves in the lane (OK, this is possibly the only acceptable reason due to the fact that from a distance it looked like a very large animal)
  • I don't know, there doesn't seem to be a logical reason

Keep in mind that I am not an angry person sitting in traffic, I just want to know why. And knowing is half the battle, no?
Toodles.

No comments: