We've started the fun task of finding a daycare for Ninja baby. If I could skip this process, I would, but it's something that is unavoidable. If there is one for sure area of my life that I tend to be more judgemental than others, it would come in the form of finding daycares. Rightfully so, these people take care of the most important thing on earth to me.
After some research, I found this lady on my county website, so she was licensed and close by home. Other than her having openings, nothing struck me as extra ordinary about her. She didn't have anything more or less than any other person I checked out. We set up a meeting for this past Monday.
I shit you not, I am not making any of it up. I'm really not that creative at this point.
I google directions and it seems odd to me, but if memory serves me correct, her address is an apartment. I decide that maybe I don't know the area well enough and go anyway. I drive up to the address and it's a house, but it is in fact right smack dab in the middle of about 4 apartment complexes. I'm trying to keep an open mind and not turn around because the driveway up to her house is super bumpy and full of potholes. I look around and see a fenced in yard with outdoor play sets, but there's no grass, it's all dirt. Still going to try. I walk up to the door, with J, and knock. All I hear is little kids screaming 'Someone's at the door!' for about a full minute. Some dude opens it about half way and asks very hesitantly 'Can I help you?' I'm like yeah, do you want to buy some bibles? Just kidding, that's what I should have said. Instead I say I'm here for a meeting with so-and-so and he let's me in. He immediately starts telling me about some traffic jam somewhere in the metro area and I'm like oh that's nice. I can't really hear him that well because there are 3 or 4 little toddlers screaming there heads off and it's echoing. After about 2 minutes, the lady I set the appointment up with who looks like she hasn't bathed or put on a clean shirt in a couple days come bumbling around the corner, baby on hip. She doesn't really introduce herself but starts talking about the kids that are there but they aren't suppose to be or something like that. Honestly I can't remember anything because her voice was really fucking loud. I thought she was just talking loudly because of the kids, but as she's talking, she starts taking me on a tour of her maze of house and her voice never lowered. She was shouting, and I was wincing. Still trying to keep an open mind, she leads me upstairs where I meet her helper person who seemed nice enough but kept yawning. We sit down on a love seat with the loud talker on the the couch. That's when I start noticing things: her house was messy, not dirty, but messy. There was stuff everywhere. She starts talking about her policies and the ENTIRE time she was picking a zit on her chin. I swear by the end of the hour I was there, she widdled a little whole on her face from all the picking. She also had something really weird going on with her bottom lip. It stuck out causing her to drool and spittle when she talked. It was so distracting. J, by this time, is bored out of his gord and she noticed (good sign, right?). She asked him if he wanted to go play outside with her husband and daughter and he said sure. She said he could just go thru the kitchen and out the sliding door. And this is where things went from maybe this chick just talks loud and doesn't like to shower to there is no way in hell I'm coming back here.
J went to the door and couldn't figure out how to open it and asked for some help. She gets up right away (another good sign, right?) and proceeds to walk over to the door. During this short little jaunt, HER FUCKING PANTS FELL OFF. I shit you not, her pants fell to her knees and I got a really frightening view of her underwear. If this would have happened to me, I more than likely would have started laughing and apologize. Not this chick. She just kept walking and talking and babbling about her policies. I glance over at the helper/yawner and she didn't seem fazed by it at all. Like it's normal for her pants to drop at random times. Totally weird. She let's J out and comes back, pants barely back on and from this point on, I stop listening. She could've said Sign up now and I'll pay off your house! and I wouldn't heard it or cared. Sorry, I know things happen sometimes, but if I knew I was having someone come over that might possibly give me money, I would take a shower and put a belt on. But that's just me.
After a while, I take my keys out of my purse and start walking towards the door saying something about dinner and being hungry. I go get J from outside and she follows me, yammering on the whole way. I finally make it in the car and I'm like 'oh my gosh!!!!' and J was all 'What? What's wrong?' Kids...
I have a couple more interviews lined up and for the love of pete, they have to go better than this, right???????
Like I've said before, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
Pray for me,
JSC
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